just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
