I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
