If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
