So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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