Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
