I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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