i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
