This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
