he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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