Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
