why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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