so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
It was confusing and full of hummus
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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