Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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