I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
