You just made me feel so damn special
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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