It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
