I will die if light touches me.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Randomize
