My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
