So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just threw up on my dentist
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Randomize
