Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
