now i know why i became what i already was.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
