People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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