Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
this will be a night to untag.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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