Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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