alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
