I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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