That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
