Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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