The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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