do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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