it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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