I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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