How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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