she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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