i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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