Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize