i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
