I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
is that a dick in a sweater?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
