yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
