Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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