You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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