I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We had sex on a dog bed..
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
