when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
