And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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