she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
