saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
