Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
