Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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