if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
