I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
