why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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