but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
She told me I should be a condom model.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize