He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
