Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
