the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
