So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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