I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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