I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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