i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
