I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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